Tiktok Series: Grocery Shopping for Immortals

Whoever convinced me immortality was a good idea can suck it.

If you’ve ever wondered how it would be like to never fear death or illness, it would be in your best interest to direct your attention elsewhere. The Man in Black is a tricky character to deal with, and who knows what his mood swings will bring. What I do know is what a certain mood of him brought to me, though, one fateful Tuesday morning. I was given the gift coveted by countless men and women throughout history, all over the world. Endless time. Not because I had to use it for a noble cause like saving the world, but because the Man in Black felt like it.

At first, I was ecstatic, over the moon. Just imagining all I could do with what had been given to me was enough to make me forget everything else. In what seemed like a fraction of a moment, I’d already thought about all the things I would accomplish, and all the places I would go. And in what seemed like an even shorter time, I realized that just having the time to do something won’t guarantee you will.

The hero phase I went through was probably the worst of it, when I deluded myself into thinking that there was a purpose to my immortality. I was arrogant, and foolish to think that little old me could end the wars that struck at my heart like pins and needles. The delusion was only made worse by the fact that on the opposite side of the battlefield, stood someone who seemed like she was made for me — a villain to my story. Both she and I existed on the same plane outside of time, and yet, we could not be any more different. But after what seemed like centuries of battles never truly won, I mustered up the resolve to turn my back on it. Forever.

Well, at least, that’s what I thought.

I’ve seen different kinds of battlefields in my long, long life. I’ve crossed swords in the punishing desert, and the ice-cold mountains in the north. Whenever she and I met, it was always in an unforgiving place, when the lives of millions were at stake. Who would’ve thought that we’d meet out here, in the same fucking grocery store because of a buy 1 take 2 sale on milk?

“Alex.” She breathed, gripping her grocery cart like the steering wheel of a getaway car. Thank God she isn’t in a bad mood. That’s how the Grand Canyon was made. “If it isn’t Helen, dull as ever.” Before I knew it, she was behind me, and I could vaguely feel the thin blade on my back.

“I do like how you remember our special greeting, but I’d really just like to buy some milk.”

A/N: I’m in the middle of a shit ton of commissions and schoolwork, and I just needed to write something completely unrelated to get my brain going again. I’ll probably be doing more of these Tiktok prompt inspired blurbs. Read and leave a comment if you’d like :)
Prompt: https://vt.tiktok.com/ZSd8cDy4g/?k=1